My 8-year-old daughter has just started the third grade! Yes, my baby, who I remember just starting to walk and talk and read, is already in the third grade… that’s halfway done with elementary school! Okay, the old mommy panic is gone but replaced with an uncomfortable unsettled feeling.

The first week of school went really well. She loves her teacher who has truly mastered the art of the reward. She had the parents bring in their kid’s favorite candy in a little plastic baggie, and then uses it as rewards to get the kids to behave well and do their work. I wish I could find a way to reward people I work with using items they already own and get the same reaction.

Anyway, all was well last week as homework was done quickly and efficiently, even with a smile. She is making new friends and taking more responsibility for her papers and folders. All good stuff… but there seems to be something else brewing on the horizon. I think some people would call it “individuation.” I might have another name for it… sneakiness.

What I’ve noticed in my daughter since she started school is that she seems to be consciously deciding to push the rules. I thought being consistent and firm all these years would have just derailed that train, but apparently that is not the case.

It started small with her starting to NOT ask for things that she wants. She started by just asking if she can have dessert, but not specifying what she wanted… next thing you know she’s eating Tootsie Pops for dessert instead of fruit. Okay, that’s a little bit clever and kind of cute, so I let it go… that’s a slippery slope I tell you!

Then what develops later in the week is a little more blatant. We took a long drive to visit Nana and Papa for Labor Day weekend and the little girls bring their Nintendo DS games. It makes a long trip quite manageable because they are occupied and improving their manual dexterity (yes, that’s what I tell myself) and more importantly, they are quiet. At least for a while…

Each girl had only one rule to follow with the DS games in the car – NO SOUND! Normally, this isn’t a problem as they usually happy to just get some video game time. But about 20 minutes into the ride, I swear I am hearing things… little tinkle bells and quacks and other goofy sounds that I really don’t remember on my favorite CD the last time I played it. That’s when I realize and do the friendly, “Please turn off the sound on your games.” That should do it.

But it doesn’t… 20 more minutes and the tinkle-linkle-link is back and even less charming than the last time. This time I have to actually find out who is the culprit, and of course it is my daughter. So this time, with feeling, she gets “Turn the sound off, NOW!” And we get back, the “Okay, okay!” in return.

Now, the fact that she turns the sound up one more time boggles my mind, but all I can figure is that somewhere in her 8-year-old brain is the need to know “how far exactly can I push it?” Well, I am sure you all know that three times is most certainly a limit and she rode the rest of the way with no DS.

I didn’t think it was much until we caught her sneaking candy to school for her “secret club of friends” who expect her to bring something. Since when does she not ask? So she is told to put it back and to ask next time. What does my sneaky little minx do? She tries hiding it in her shoes to take anyway!