Police now believe last week’s abduction of a 6-year-old Las Vegas boy was not a random kidnapping ( see story here), but rather was a calculated message from drug dealers to the boy’s grandfather who owes them millions of dollars.

The boy was returned safely, and three people “are of interest” in the case. Meanwhile, the effects reverberate – and not just inside the psyche of a little boy who was taken from his home by people he trusted.

I, for one, saw the headline, “Child Abducted” and automatically recalled the most heavily publicized child-abduction cases in memory, that of 6-year-old Adam Walsh and 12-year-old Polly Klaas. Adam was abducted 27 years ago from a Hollywood, Fla., shopping mall while he played video games at Sears and his mother shopped for a lamp nearby. Polly was stolen from her bedroom 15 years ago during a slumber party at her house in Petaluma, Calif. Both stories engaged empathetic parents across the country, as we imagined how it must feel for one’s child to go missing for weeks, only to be found brutally murdered like Adam was, 16 days later, and Polly, an agonizing two months later. How does a parent ever quit asking: What if? What if I didn’t go shopping that day? What if I hadn’t stepped out of the room at that moment?

I saw the headlines, and I couldn’t help but think of my own 11-year-old son. Although he is the wrong gender, he is the age at which the greatest percentage of stranger abductions occur; 76 percent of stranger abductions are girls just over the age of 11 from middle class neighborhoods, according to the U.S. Department of Justice.

I saw the headlines, and I remembered Saturday morning a few weeks ago. On our way to a college football game in Michigan, our family of five stopped at a large, well-lit rest area on the Ohio Turnpike, one with a Panera Bread, a Starbucks and a Burger King inside. My husband and I went inside to get bagels for the kids.

When we got back to the car, my aforementioned younger son said he had to go to the bathroom. We’d already been inside. There were just a few people there at 10 a.m. on a Saturday. We were parked right in front. We could see inside the place, which was encased in glass walls. We told him to run on in and we’d wait.

Three minutes passed. Four. Five. Six. “I’m going to see where Benjie is,” my husband said, while I stayed in the car. Two minutes after he went inside, my cell phone rang.

“Benjie is not in the bathroom,” my husband said.

For five panicked minutes, we scoured the rest area looking for our son. During those minutes, the thought crossed my mind that I might not be able to live if something happened to Benjie.

And then we heard pounding on a door off to the side of the main restroom.

Benjie had gone to a smaller “family bathroom” and gotten locked in by a sticky door latch.

He was safe.

And I was reminded again. And then again.

Fine Line Between Too Much and Too Little

The line between keeping your child in a bubble and hand-feeding your child to the wolves is a fine one and a judgment call. The fact of the matter is, only a small number of kidnappings constitute the “stereotypical” stranger kidnapping: According to the Department of Justice, 797,500 children younger than 18 were reported missing in 2002. Of those:

- 203,900 children were the victims of family abductions.
- 58,200 children were the victims of non-family abductions.
- 115 children were the victims of the typical stranger kidnapping, involving, “someone the child does not know or someone of slight acquaintance, who holds the child overnight, transports the child 50 miles or more, kills the child, demands ransom, or intends to keep the child permanently.”

From some people’s perspective, the number of stranger kidnappings is not enough to keep a child from riding his bike alone around the neighborhood or going to the nearby elementary school to shoot hoops in the afternoon.

From my perspective, the world is a different place than when I was growing up.

By that, I don’t mean there are more bad people lurking. By that, I mean there are fewer good people watching.

And so I casually and sometimes sternly, depending on the circumstances, remind my son about “stranger danger” (see these helpful Safety Tips). One of my favorites comes from parentingourchildren.com: An adult should never need help from a child. If an adult approaches asking for help finding a dog or locating a house, the child should take heed.

I, for one, let my child go the nearby elementary school to play hoops in the afternoon – but only if he has a friend with him.

I let him ride his bike – but not beyond the cul-de-sac we live on.

No questions asked, no discussion necessary, no need to scare my child. Most of the time I am simply, quietly one of those parents who errs on the side of caution — not always, as was evidenced by the day at the rest area.

Sometimes, I’m afraid, I need reminding.

- Debra-Lynn