Even when I was a young girl, I knew that someday I wanted to get married and have children. I pictured going to my mother’s for Sunday pizza and my kids having sleepovers with cousins. I assumed my children would have close relationships with extended family. Just like I did.

Life is funny though.

I married a local boy. So far, so good as far as my plan went. Then we decided to move from New York to California so that my husband could attend Cal Arts and further his career. It would only be for two years. What an exciting adventure for a couple of newlyweds, and we’d still have plenty of time to move back East and start a family.

We rented a moving van, loaded up all of the wedding gifts, and drove West confident (as only young, childless people can be) that once we arrived in California, we’d find a job for me and a place for us to live.

Well, California was good to us. I found a great teaching job and the two years flew by. Then my husband was offered an artist position at Disney Animation Studios. This was a great opportunity and a lifetime dream for him, but definitely not part of my plan. After much thought, we decided to accept the job offer and stretch our adventure out for a few more years.

Ten years and three beautiful daughters later, we felt like it was “now or never” so we finally moved closer to all of those relatives. Not quite NY but much, much closer. We landed near Cleveland and my husband replaced Winnie The Pooh at Disney with The Care Bears at American Greetings.

So, what about my hopes for my children having close relationships with extended family? Remarkably, that part of my childhood plan did happen as I’d hoped. Despite the lack of physical proximity, my kids have wonderful, loving relationships with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Here are my parenting tips for creating those bonds whether you live 3,000 miles away or up the street from your extended family.

• Display lots of framed pictures of your family or even snapshots on your refrigerator. Make sure that everyone is represented. Photo calendars made with family pictures (easy to do with Photoworks) are also great. When my oldest wasn’t yet two-years-old, she could accurately point to each of her numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents when I said the corresponding name.

• Put pictures in a Who Loves Baby? Photo Book or even in the free album you receive when you get photos developed. Let your child carry it around and “own it.”

• Put family photos on your screensaver as a slide show. My almost two-year-old niece, Sofia, has this at her house and calls it “her movie.” I love that she is forming an attachment to me even though I don’t see her as often as I’d like.

• My sister sings a made up “Love You” song with Sofia each night before bed. The words are “Grammy loves Sofia, Aunt Amy loves Sofia” and on and on. Sofia never leaves anyone out.

• Call about the big stuff and the little stuff. If my daughter wants to call Aunt Katie to tell her she lost a tooth, I encourage it. We also all call anyone celebrating a birthday. It’s a treat to be the center of attention for a whole day. It makes kids and grown-ups alike feel loved.

• Older nieces and nephews keep in touch through e-mail. They enjoy having their own addresses and send each other messages and eCards.

• Be creative. I ordered a subscription to Wild Animal Baby for Sofia so that each month when she receives it my sister can say, “Oh, look what Aunt Kay sent you! She must really love you.”

And I really do.

-Kay