There is a trend in America to entertain less frequently within our homes. It’s down 45% in 20 years. Why? I believe it’s because we are so crazy busy with our families, jobs, activities, church, schools, and on and on.

The thought of cleaning our house, making a meal, and then having enough energy left over for a coherent discussion can seem overwhelming. Frankly, why bother?

Well, lots of reasons.

• It’s fun. The power of laughter is amazing. Do you ever sit around laughing your head off when you’re mowing your lawn? No. You need to take a break from your “life” and have some fun with your friends. Last week we got together with good friends and got into a discussion about McCain and Obama (see, we can be serious, too). Then we started talking about their political commercials and pretty soon we were brainstorming new ones. We cracked ourselves up. Think SNL only not funny at all to anyone other than ourselves.

• It’s good for your kids to see healthy, long-term friendships. Some kids have a tendency to have a new best friend each week. Or to drop someone if it’s no longer fun. It’s character building for your child to see that even when the friendship may be a bit difficult, good friends hang in there. The friends I mention above moved hundreds of miles away but we still make it happen. I’ve had friends struggle with cancer, death, divorce, handicapped children, finances, and other challenges. It’s not always easy but our relationships are solid.

• It creates pseudo-cousins for your children. I grew up with layers upon layers of cousins and loved being known and cared for by so many people. Still do. Unfortunately, my kids don’t have that experience. They have cousins they adore but there is only a smattering of them. The children of our good friends have the same type of relationship with my kids as I had with my cousins. They look forward to spending time together and start up where they left off.

• It’s good for marriages. Relaxing with friends allows me to see my spouse in the same role as when we dated. The relaxed, carefree guy I fell for instead of the work driven, busy guy I live with on a daily basis. And vice versa. I admit I’m usually too busy switching loads in the laundry or putting band-aids on boo boos to look lovingly in my husband’s eyes (which are a spectacular blue, by the way). The nicest thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse.

Entertaining does not have to be overwhelming. Here are some tips for simplifying:

• Keep it small. I think two families at a time is perfect for conversation and crowd control.

• Don’t try new recipes. In the summer, I grill. In the winter, I make meatballs. If you hate any cooking, don’t hesitate to order pizza. Make a green salad and you’re good. It’s about fellowship, not food.

• Don’t over plan. I know one woman who orchestrates the entire evening and it makes me a bit anxious. No sooner do you finish your dessert and she shoos you into another room for an activity. And on it goes. It’s very Martha Stewart-like and, honestly, I’d be a bit intimidated to invite her to my home.

• Be open to different ideas. For years we had a group of friends that always gathered on Friday nights. We rotated homes and made it a potluck. It was fairly effortless and lots of fun. Our neighborhood meets up with neighbors around campfires in backyards. It’s usually spontaneous and the host provides S’mores ingredients and beverages. How easy is that?

• Involve your kids. They can easily make invitations, place cards, and menus online. Totally unnecessary for your gathering, but kids love having input and feeling needed.

Remember, the goal is to make genuine connections. Good luck and have fun!

-Kay