Today I met a young man at my local grocery store. He was the cashier and since I had an overflowing basket of food, we had a few minutes to chat.

I’ve noticed an annoying trend in teen employees recently. Many seem to have a bored, borderline surly attitude. Almost as if I’m bothering them when I get in their checkout line.

As if! Whatever.

Anyways, I noticed from his nametag that his name was Sam. He made eye contact, smiled, and asked how my day was going. Sam asked if my kids were back to school. Is it that obvious that I’m a Mom? Perhaps the juice boxes and fruit snacks gave it away. We talked briefly about my three daughters and what grades they were entering and then I turned the conversation to Sam.

I asked Sam what grade he was in. After all, we had become buddies. He told me that he’d graduated in June and was taking a year off to figure out his future. I wanted to shake him and yell, “That’s what college is for!!!”

Does Sam really think that all of those freshman college students are solely intent on their studies and have their futures all mapped out? College is all about growing up, gaining independence, and figuring out your future (okay, and parties). Sam confided that his Mom is upset about his decision and thinks he is making a big mistake.

Sam’s Mom is right.

I don’t believe I’ve ever known anyone who went back to school fulltime after “taking some time to think.” I’ve known lots of people who go back part-time, squeezing in a night class between raising kids and trying to pay a mortgage. Not easy.

Sam is a good looking boy; lots of confidence, wide shoulders, and a handsome face. I’m sure most teen girls would love to spend some time with him. However, those same girls, four years from now, will not be quite so impressed. They’ll be comparing Sam to young men graduating from college who have impressive plans for their futures.

I hope Sam’s Mom mentioned all of that. Especially the girl part because, well, Sam is an 18-year-old boy. The kid and mortgage stuff probably seem like such distant issues to Sam that it is almost meaningless.

If Sam is working full-time, he’s bringing home about $300 a week. It probably feels like that’s a ton of cash, at this point. I hope his Mom is charging him for rent, food, and utilities, leaving him next to nothing in his pocket. He might as well get used to being broke unless he attends college or trade school.

If I had talked to Sam’s Mom five years ago, this is the advice I would have given her.

• Don’t discuss college as a choice. When talking about college, word it as “when you go,” instead of “if you go.” For my daughters, it’s already a foregone conclusion that they will attend college.

• If you attended college, drive by your alma mater. We’ve done this just to give our kids a bit of our history and also to help them become a bit familiar with colleges. We want to take the mystery out of the whole experience.

• Help your kids to appreciate their strengths. Saying things like, “you are excellent with children” or “ you are very good at fixing things” will help them when choosing a career path.

• Be involved with your child’s school. Go to events, meet the principal, e-mail teachers, become a room mom, check grades online, look over homework, etc. It will pay off in the long run.

• Steer him toward friends who have solid goals for their futures. It’s catchy.

I would also tell Sam’s Mom that she did a lot of things right because he seems like such a great kid. Hopefully, he’ll find his way.

-Kay