I am fairly new to blogging but an old hand at parenting, not that it makes it easier, mind you. I’ve been raising my step daughters and my own daughter for over 13 years now and only as I have been blogging have I become more aware of some things that concern me.

Ever since I started sharing in the parenting of my oldest stepdaughters, I knew I was a little different from today’s mainstream parents. First, I was rather young at 22 to be parenting at all, but in many ways it helped me grow up, parent myself and move officially into adulthood. Since I didn’t hang out with other parents and since I didn’t really know what I was “supposed” to be doing, I just went with my gut.

It worked out well and I really just followed the golden rule and treated the children the way I wanted to be treated, but with a healthy dose of making sure they treated me (and other adults) with the respect I wanted. This kept things really friendly, non-confrontational, but with solid boundaries. Our kids respected me as a parent but we weren’t BFFs, which as I meet more parents now, I know is a critical thing.

I have been reading other blogs and have found a couple that I really like. SundryMourning.com is very well-written and appeals to my practical parenting style. I completely relate to this mom and find myself cheering for her at every turn. She is definitely doing it herself – meaning she has the love and support of her family, but she is taking life as it comes and making great decisions and judgment calls of her own. You go, Mom!

The other I really like is written by a dad blogger. The blog DadGoneMad is another well-written favorite of mine. I like reading the dad perspective and he, too is just doing his best to raise his children and be a good husband. He is most definitely a writer first and blogger second, but that is a compliment coming from me. I’d love to have the wit and wisdom flow like butta’ but it just doesn’t always work out that way for me.

I mention these two great blogs (imho), because as I was reading around the blogosphere looking at what other parents are dishing about, I had a sad ‘a-ha’ moment. Maybe it is because I am worried about the sturdiness of my kids, or the lack of stoicism in our culture overall, but it hit me.

Many of we Americans complain A LOT, and in front of EVERYBODY, including our kids.

I spent time watching TV with the older girls, and it was there… trite drama in every reality show. I watched the little girls’ shows and those were a little better, but heck, they were animated. Then today as I was reading around, I came across a mom blog in which the last 8 posts, yes EIGHT of them, were utterly dedicated to her having a cold. She spent over a week and thousands of words on complaining about being sick.

Okay, I know being sick sucks, but that’s a lot of energy being spent on feeling sick.
What worries me is that I realize that I do it, too. I get a sore back or aching feet or allergies or whatever, and I talk about it. Maybe too much. I watch our kids and what they see and hear, and it seems a good portion of their day is spent telling me about their aches, pains and boo-boos.

Perhaps it is the age, but as I’ve watched our now adult-girls mature, I see how stress is manifesting as ‘sickness’ and how much time they spend focusing on it. I’d rather see them focus on solutions or talking about what’s really bothering them so they can truly feel better.

I am grateful for the perspective now so I can adjust and do things better for the younger kids. I also hope entertainment and our culture takes a new turn toward strength and reliance. Until then, I think some Survivor Man is in order. Won’t the kids thrilled?!

- Holly