Everything you read in relation to parenting seems to sermonize the following message: ease your kids into any new routine slowly, allow them to learn to cope a baby step at a time, and by all means, don’t just thrust them into a new situation and expect them to be able to deal.

In theory, and depending on what child psychology professional you read or speak to, this is the rule for raising healthy, happy, well-adjusted children.

My daughter’s never fit into this schema. She’s resisted baby steps since before she was taking her own literal baby steps.

Moving bedtime to a later or earlier time, cutting out naps, adjusting her diet, starting daycare, having visits with her dad on the weekends and having a babysitter for the first time…all of those new stages and schedules were resisted if we tip-toed around them. She’s an extremist, you see. Chuck her in the pool and she’ll learn to float, hold her hand in the baby pool and she’ll thrash and panic.

She started preschool this week, after a half-hour open house last week. They follow gradual entry practices, meaning that the first day was an hour long with only half the students, and the next an hour and a half with the full class size, and finally, a week after class has started, a full length class with all of the class’ students.

She’s raging against the system, knowing that soon she’ll have two and a half hours. Tuesday, the hour long class was an exercise in patience, just trying to get her back out the door at pick-up time. I was the parent promising sweetly that she could come back again soon.

Not only does she resist against being eased into a new routine – honestly seeming to have more issues adjusting when it’s a slow change as opposed to a sudden one – but I do, too. We’re 180 degrees kind of people, her and I. Either changing everything suddenly, or sit absorbed in the old routine.

I’ve been depending on this time for her at preschool, too. I must admit that I’m a little bitter that the first week has included less than two hours of schooling (she got sent home early today because she had a cold) because I’m counting on the five hours a week as time when I can get work done without having to put her in extra daycare. That’s not happening, yet.

Instead, what’s happened is she’s gotten really excited to go to school, then had to come home far before she was ready. She’s looked forward to meeting tons of new kids and found that her class has only been a small portion of the friends she already expected to play with. Instead of getting to learn to count and the sounds of letters, she’s been restricted to getting adjusted to where the puzzle table is.

It’s not working for her, this slow-integration into the classroom that’s supposed to be so beneficial to kids. It’s made me wonder if there isn’t a reason why they should offer it as an option for the kids who need it – not as a catch-all scenario.

Is your child one who warms up to new situations slowly, or would they prefer to jump into a new routine?

Have you noticed that some things are easier to teach than others? For example, it’s easy to teach a kid good manners – please and thank you, don’t pick your nose, and cover your mouth when you cough. Even when it’s not so simple, like if you’re children are strong-willed or learning disabled, there’s lots you can do through repetition and consistency to train them.

But what about the more difficult stuff, like abstract concepts and esoteric issues?  Here is a list of compelling issues that I am struggling to teach my own children:

• Faith. Since I struggle with my faith on a daily basis, it’s difficult to teach my kids, especially when I embrace the more abstract concepts but have difficulty or reject dogma.  It’s something I feel is very critical, especially since I believe that faith helps you through the kind of challenges my learning disabled children no doubt face. I did find Parent University: Teaching Faith to our Children” to be a helpful article and embroiling faith into the everyday is something I do, but I’d like my 6 year old to learn more about God, as I know Him.  What I have done is taught her the “Our Father” and try to tell her nightly that God made her.  Little baby steps, I think, may be the only way.
• Diversity. This is going to be covered in school, but I worry because my daughter will be learning that she has Down syndrome. It’s not something we’ve discussed with her, much less discuss the diversity of others.  I have no idea how to approach this.  Amelia doesn’t speak much, so I’m a bit concerned that the day they do this speech, she will be a little freaked out.  I honestly didn’t find too many resources about teaching kids who have disability about their disability, other than to be honest and positive.  I suppose this is a good area of experimentation for me, and of course, future blogging. This video is a great one for all parents to watch as well:
  What I Would Want a Mother of a Typical Needs Child to Know

• Respect. I teach them self-control, but I’d like them to understand that respect is more than just that. I’m a firm believer in learning something because you understand the value of it.  It’s not enough to stop hitting your sister, you have to want to stop hitting her. This great list of 10 Tips on Teaching Respect to Children would be more effectual if I can get my kids to discuss and understand emotions.  I just received a new toy  called Feeleez, designed to teach kids about various emotions with pictures.  Perhaps that will help.  (I’ll be reviewing very soon on Mom-Blog.)
• Pride – with balance. It’s easy to get learning disabled kids to be proud of their successes, but you don’t want it to tip over into self-absorption.  Personally, I believe the pride is at the heart of most misdeeds; however, appropriate self-esteem is the flip side of pride.  it can be a tightrope to walk for a grown up and much more so for a child.  Too much pride can blow up into selfishness, which can lead to lots of undesired kid behaviors or this distorted perception of entitlement that is so rampant in kids today.  The resources I found on this topic were numerous, so I will leave you with Scholastic’s “Too Much of a Good Thing?

There are no easy answers here, but remember to encourage your child as much as you can, model what you want to see in him, and keep your eyes and ears open for good tips on teaching your kid about the important things in life.

What are the “hard things” you struggle to teach your children? What resources have you found that have helped? Share them in the comments.

Between all the hysteria over “swine” flu, or more accurately, the H1N1 Flu, a little thing slipped my mind: all the other viruses swirling around as kids go back to school. My daughter came home with a note that her school, which is quite small, has its first confirmed case of Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease. This particular disease is more common around children, since adults are generally immune, and can be quite nasty.

We need to find ways to protect our children, especially young ones who like to mouth toys and suck on thumbs, and frequently forget to wash their hands. As parents, how can we teach our kids and prevent them from spreading viral infections, flus, and other diseases?

I did some research and put together a list of 10 useful resources for parents in helping their kids develop healthy habits:

1. Kaboose Hygiene Guide: This popular site has a guide for how to get kids motivated on personal hygiene, including dental health.
2. KidsHealth.org: This site includes a parent’s guide, a children’s section, and a teen guide. In the parent’s guide, topics are listed.  Check out the guide to “infections”: it contains a comprehensive list of illnesses by category.
3. If Your Kid Eats This Book, Everything Will Still Be Okay: How to Know if Your Child’s Injury or Illness Is Really an Emergency Yea, I know, long, silly title, but man, do I wish I had this book as a new mom!  An ideal gift for new parents, this book tells what to look for, when you can relax, and when to bring your kid to the ER.
4. Prevent Flu by Teaching Kids Proper Handwashing:  This Suite101 guide contains a  lesson plan for teaching kids proper hygiene.
5. Swine Flu Q&A: What Parents Need to Know.  WebMD interviewed pediatricians to give a comprehensive answer to this question.
6. Enlist Elmo.  You know that Sesame Street had to help out with this one!  Check out the government’s  Flu PSA page for a link to all 4 PSA videos with Elmo and Gordon.
7. The Special Needs Project has a book on personal hygiene written specifically for kids with developmental delays.
8. A Hand Washing Song at The Idea Box.  Look around for lots of other great tips and ideas for teaching kids hygiene.
9. GloGerm, a company that sells hygiene training products, has a list of worksheets for teaching kids proper hand washing.
10. Henry the Hand is an entire kids site dedicated to teaching about hand washing with cartoons, music, and video.

Remember these tips as we enter flu season:

• Vaccinate your kids for the flu at the “right” time in the season. If you hear of an outbreak, that’s the time to get it, since the shot only last 3 months.
• Carry anti-bacteria fluid.  Parents know they sometimes have to wipe off unpleasant things, so carrying around a small bottle of this product will prevent having to resort to extreme measures, like I did.
• Make sure they eat healthy.  Zoe took longer to get sick in the last round of viruses, probably because she thrives on healthy fruits like berries.  In addition, she did not get stomach problems like the rest of us, and I credit her love of bananas.

If you have some great resources for teaching kids about hygiene, or learning more to help protect your kids from flu, viruses and infections, please share it here. Wishing you a happy and healthy Fall and Winter!

Wow, I survived Amelia’s first full day of school!

No one told me it would be so hard.  After all, Amelia has been in preschool since she turned 3 years old, and spent a full year in kindergarten.  The wasn’t without pitfalls, either!

First of all, the bus company did not call me back with her pick up time. She was originally scheduled to get picked up on the corner, but Amelia’s disabilities qualify her for door-to-door service. The downside is due to that, that my house is the first stop, so she’s on the bus forever.  On Tuesday morning, I called the bus company and found out her pickup was 7:37, 10 minutes earlier than expected!

I scrambled to get her to brush her teeth and wash her face, get her raincoat on, and waited for the bus.  The bus driver was not happy, since I opened the door and asked for a few more minutes.

“You know, you’re supposed to be out here 5 minutes early, at 7:32,” he said. He tried to smile, but I was making him late.  (OK, it’s the first day, lighten up!)

“Um, that’s a new one on me!”  I’m not sure he believed me.  I got Amelia on and buckled up…she likes to sit in the back but he insisted she sit in row #1.  Oh well.

I was more of a nervous wreck than she was. My husband has a colleague who has a child with Aspberger’s.  He came home from his first full day of 1st grade and responded with a grumpy sigh when asked how it was.  Would Amelia be sad or happy? Brow-beaten or just fine?  The day dragged on, with my stomach doing little flip flops for most of it.

Fast forward 8 hours or so.  I had no drop off time, so I did not know what to expect.  4:30 maybe?  Oprah ended, so then it was 5PM.  She gets out at 3:30.  Three frantic phone calls later, the bus shows up… 5:15! It seems that parents unexpectedly picked up kids who were to be bussed, so they held up the buses.  And the driver got held up behind the train.

Amelia doesn’t talk much, so I was distressed to find an empty school bag: no papers, no folder, nothing.  Elementary school shock! I’m used to getting paperwork with a daily report, therapy sheets, crafts, etc.  I have no idea what she did yesterday.  On the upside, she didn’t mind going this morning, so I take it her day did not go badly.

This morning, I was happily surprised by a phone call from her special ed teacher.  It turns out she had a great day yesterday.  They are going to educate the kids (all of them) on how different kids reach goals at different times, and how they are more alike than different. I like this idea myself.  (See my Mom-Blog post about “How to speak to other kids about your special needs kid“). They are also going to get peers to help toileting her. (Oh, how I wish potty training had worked this summer!)

The teacher asked me if I minded her discussing Amelia’s disability with the class. Truthfully, I had mixed feelings, but a little while after agreeing, I realized that sooner or later, this would be discussed.  Better to have professional educators teach the children how to gracefully handle it, than have backroom gossip about Amelia’s “Down syndrome”.  This teacher had used this approach before, with another class, and the disabled child was befriended by all the kids.

So, if you’re the praying sort, please whisper a prayer that Amelia will be accepted and befriended by her peers.

If you know a special needs parent, or any new parent, who’s kid is just starting a new school, be it a new grade or a just a change, reach out and give them a vote of encouragement. It ain’t easy letting ‘em go…

Share your stories of success, failure, tears, and triumph on your kid’s first day.

A couple of months ago, I stumbled over The Mean Mom’s Club. I have not had a chance to do more than peruse the site, but the term “Mean Mommy” stuck in my brain.

I am so not a mean mommy…

Not yet anyway. But, let me tell you folks, it’s been a rough summer, even with my kids were in summer school for most of it! (They like summer school, too.) By mid-August, I was at my wit’s end between tantrums, yelling fits, and flat out disobedience.

You see, folks, mild parenting can be a pitfall of having special needs kids, particularly if one of them suffers from sensory disorder. You tread gently all the time, you are too positive, and eventually you become the thing you never thought you’d be – a pushover. Then when the rubber hits the road a little too hard, you blow a gasket.

And we all know how well screaming “works” as discipline, right? I had had enough. I decided to toss out the rule of not trying a particular discipline because they “don’t get it”.  When children don’t speak or have attention disorders or other learning disabilities, you believe they often don’t understand you. And, for what it’s worth, on some level, maybe they don’t, but eventually they will. My life is too hectic to have children who won’t pull their weight.

Guess what? They understood more than I gave them credit for. Here’s what I did:

Zoe. Between autism, sensory processing disorder, and her inability to speak, I have not yet incorporated time-out’s for misbehavior. This is problematic, since they were so effective on my other daughter from the age of two. What to do? Well, my neighbor told me that she put her daughter, who is the same age and has autism, in time out and held her there. After a few tries, she understood.

I tried it. Oh Lord, was it grueling! I held her in my arms and she squirmed, and cried, and banged, her head and then…stopped. She suddenly figured out that Mommy wasn’t giving in. After a little while, she calmed down, just in time for me to have to go deal with my other child…

Amelia: The strategy that I’ve been failing at with her is “consistency”. I implemented an “if I say it, I mean it” policy…meaning, if you misbehave, you’ll pay for it, even if you’re taking a bath and you have to wait for your time out. I had believed that the recent ineffectiveness of time-out’s was part of her stretching boundaries. Once I got consistent, though, she fell in line. In fact, I also tried assigning a punishment as a way to get out of time-out and it worked. Boy, did she get that playroom clean! The next day’s time out consisted of her sitting in the corner, spewing venom at the wall but eventually it ended and an obedient, sweet girl emerged.

My parenting lesson for the summer: no more Mrs. Nice Guy. The Tough Mommy gets results that allows Nice Mommy to come out and enjoy her children…and vice versa.

Are you tough with your kids or are you a push-over? If you’ve converted from side to the other, please share your story!

My daughter has been playing with this little red notebook I’ve had for years and last night, as I lay sick on the couch, I cracked it open. I remembered buying this beautiful journal to record my journey as a parent back when Amelia was first born. I was touched by what I managed to get down on the page when I only had one infant and no job:

“Look down now!” yells the nurse in the delivery room, and I do, and out falls my lovely little girl, as if in one piece.  Oh, my heart! She is so beautiful

At 3 months: Today she held my fingers, actually pulled herself from lying down to almost sitting, without me pulling. Awesome!

At 4 months:  I think she laughed, could she have?

And, 2 days later: Yup, she definitely laughed.  We did “flying girl” and out right laughed!

At 10 months: Chris stood her up on the couch. She was holding the back of it.  He let go and viola! She stood for a few minutes, wahoo!

It warmed my mommy heart and brought back vivid, pictoral memories, which I’m really bad at.  Unfortunately, I stopped the diary soon after that last post, and did not pick it up again. Nor did I do one for Zoe; it was too difficult to write because of her temper as a baby and because of Amelia vying for attention.

But now I am back to square one, looking for ways to document and preserve special moments for both my girls as I notice the years flying by.  I lost a bunch of photos from the beginning of the year and that little red diary has been torn apart by the kids.  Documenting things on my blog helps, but I know that computer documents are not safe or long-lasting because of crashes and changing technology.  And even if that diary were in pristine condition,  paper and ink will fade.

So how on earth can I preserve the new  memories I’d like to hold on to?  Precious moments could be lost forever, like Zoe’s absolute pleasure at singing “Wheels on the Bus”, but how it must be done in proper order, or how Amelia loves “Ring Around the Rosy”, or the way Zoe loves to beep my nose, or Amelia’s way of saying, “Come. Come, Mommy”, while patting the couch beside her or holding out her hand.

Perhaps the only real solution is to make use of all the tools I have at my disposal:

• Buy a lovely journal and update it as much as I can.
• Take photos (soon as I get a camera again) and print them, which I never do.
• Create photo books and scrapbooks.
• Type up letters to my kids, print them out, back them up, and post them.
• Keep on blogging – and backing up.

The other problem is finding time to capture the moment, on film or in writing.  It’s not just that life moves fast, but the amount of tasks in a parent’s  life as their kids grow can be overwhelming.  Just finding 20 minutes for quality time is hard enough without making notes, but still, as a writer, I should get to it.  I’m heart-broken that I lost the thread of that diary, and I want to rectify that. I can keep pen, paper and notebooks handy, and once I’m back with a camera, remember to keep it charged and handy.

Have you lost or memories that are rich and valuable to you?  Did you change your way of documenting these memories? Please share your ideas and projects for preserving your own parenting memories.

I can’t think of something that might grate my nerves more than “are we there, yet?” Except for a very whiny, oft-repeated “I’m bored!” followed by a dramatic sigh.

Boredom. As parents, boredom can seem mythical, as we’re often so busy working, keeping home, shuttling children between appointments and social activities, and getting some sleep and – gasp! – maybe even some social time in ourselves. We don’t have time to sit around, doing nothing and waiting for someone to entertain us, because every time we sit down, it seems that we’re either exhausted or end up finding 20 new things to put on the to-do list.

But kids seem to get bored all the time. Which really makes me wonder: Are we not giving them enough housework? Could they participate in the tasks we brought home from the office? Isn’t it about time that the seven year olds we know and love make us dinner, for once?

I think that part of kids getting bored is that our society often provides forms of instant entertainment, and when those end, boredom sets in. Gone seem to be the days of sending the kids out after breakfast and telling them to be home for dinner – it’s just not considered safe in most metropolitan areas, and it’s kind of an unusual concept for the generation we’re raising. I mean, outside? All day? What would they do?

Of course, the go outside and play defense to boredom generally becomes moot on a rainy day and you, mom or dad, must team together with the bored spawn to come up with a solution to choruses of I’m so bored. Like?

School’s going back. I’ll bet you’ve already bought all of the books, binders and pencil cases your child will need, right? They should totally label all of their supplies – even if that means using glitter glue, smelly felts and the occasional sequin or two. It’s not your pencil case, so let them go wild – I can nearly guarantee that no one’s going to steal supplies that look like they might have been labelled by the makeup artist for Cirque du Soleil.

Buy them a new book. Or even better, take your kids to the library, sign them up for their own library card, and let them borrow a book suitable for their reading level. Just because they’re not in school doesn’t mean that reading or learning has to end. Bonus points for you, if you can find them a reading club program to participate in.

Let them wander the Internet, with appropriate child-safe filters activated and under your supervision. There’s a wealth of kids’ activities online, from games to educational programs, clips from their favorite shows and previews for upcoming movie releases. They can even find coloring pages and crafts to fill up their off-line time.

If they’re old enough to walk, they’re old enough to help around the house. Or at least, I think so (wink). Get your toddler sorting socks from the laundry, your preschooler can help make a tossed salad, five and six years can pitch in making beds and cleaning bathrooms and kids older than seven are able to help with nearly anything – as long as it’s safe and they have a tall enough step stood.

One final idea for when they’re bored and you’re busy. Hand them a camera and a list of things they have to find, sending them on a photo treasure hunt around the house. I bet you’ll be shocked at the great composition your kids are capable of!

What do you do when your kids say those magical We’re bored words? Add your tested and true suggestions for the community in the comments!

The last time I posted about things I wish I knew before becoming a parent. Today, I want to blog about the benefits that come after you’re a parent.  (And believe me, none of them include money!) Here are 10 great things about being a parent:

1. Most of the crappy stuff will pass. As in, kids not sleeping through the night, tantrums, and potty training (so they tell me).  They all learn and go on to the next impossible stumbling block, and then you’re laughing and saying things like, “Remember how nuts I was when I only slept 3 hours a night?”
2. Big, mushy hugs and kisses. I know they outgrow them but I can always close my eyes and bring them to mind, like the scent of their baby fuzz hair, the softness of their unblemished cheeks, or the tight grip of their baby fist around my finger.
3. You get to watch Sesame Street. Maybe it’s because I was in school by the time it started, but this is my favorite show.  You never know who’ll show up, either.  Recent episodes featured Diana Krall, Brian Williams and Neil Patrick Harris.
4. You appreciate what you have for the first time. Nothing makes you more aware of how little time we have on this Earth than watching a child go from newborn to school girl in the blink of an eye.  It keeps me grateful for every tiny moment.
5. You get to play with toys again. And the bigger they get, the better the toys.  Mr. Potato Head! Barbie dolls!  Light Bright! Only 2 more years to an EZ Bake Oven!
6. You now have a good excuse to buy a high quality camera. It’s important to snap those moments before they are gone too quickly (see bullet #4) and with a camera fast enough to catch them.
7. You now have helpers. I honestly can no longer do all this housework by myself.  I’m recruiting some junior helpers, soon!  Of course, most of this mess is their fault…
8. Other parents make great friends. It’s kind of like a cool club.  You go out with other adults and yack about these weird tiny people who live in your house and ruin all your stuff…
9. You will cultivate patience. The only way to keep your sanity as a parent is to learn to be patient.  I’ve tried it the other way, and it just plain didn’t work.
10. It eradicates your pride. You give up nights out on the town , sports cars, designer clothes, but buy playsets, toy cars , and doll clothes.  You turn off the TV or game console when you want to use it, or tear yourself away from your book to play ring around the rosy.  Suddenly, you have to schedule the time you have for yourself and you didn’t even miss it.

Of course, I’ve left out the best thing: that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you look at them.  Yes, I know they will grow up, ail classes, break my heart, and join the opposing political party.  Yes, I know there will come a time when their Dad and I will look more like the great Bank of Parents or the Free Car Rental Service than anything else and eye-rolling will be their key mode of communication with us. For now, though, being a parent is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  I hope and pray it stays that way!

Share in the comments: what is the best thing about being a parent for you?

This weekend, for better or worse, I brought my kids to an annual picnic held by one of the local writers in my area.  I’ve never been before, but I thought, no big deal.  My kids will have fun playing outside and I can chat with other writers.

Wrong.  Even though my husband was there, and the host was very gracious, my kids ran circles around me. It was too hot outdoors for my little one, so we let her inside the house.  Worse yet, this was a childless couple so they had untouchable stuff that I had to keep Zoe away from.  I spent the day being super-mom and it wiped me out.  When we got home, I lost my temper because the house was a mess.  I felt like a total failure, even doing the best that I could.

The worst part was that it wasn’t the first time last week someone said to me, “You have your hands full”.  While this comment is well-intentioned, it doesn’t sit well with me.  It’s the same as saying that my kids are difficult.  Are they?  If they are, is it due to bad parenting?  Or is it because they have special needs?

This brings to mind a time about a year ago when I had my  girls in daycare.  The director and I had issues since they were not equipped for special needs children, and she and I had a heated discussion one day where she labeled my children as “difficult”.  I took great offense at this.  The behaviors they were exhibiting were not that bad or disruptive in my opinion, and they got along just fine in school.

I left that daycare and moved on, but I’ve always got this nagging worry in the back of my head: are my children difficult?  Everyone wants angelic children and when they aren’t , it breaks the delicate glass of our mommyhood illusions.  Amelia was an angel baby and a good toddler; we had no issues to complain about until after Zoe was born.  Because she was hypersensitive, Zoe needed a great deal of attention but I could always calm her down.  Then came her toddler-hood and we had communication issues, but even then her therapy did a world of good.

I also do not want you to think my discipline is completely ineffective.  Time out’s work well for Amelia, who is 6, as does taking away privileges.  There are times she digs in her heels, though,  but I think this is  a case of her growing up and testing her boundaries, since she didn’t used to do this.  It’s a little harder with my younger child, who doesn’t understand time out’s.  I’m still using good old redirection, which is not optimal but it’s what she understands best.

I’m still looking at more ideas and a few more books on innovative parenting ideas and parenting for, um, “difficult” children.  Even if I find a technique that works, things could change and adjust as they get older.  For now, Mommy will have to get along on prayer and martinis…

For those of you who have kids who have kids who are “difficult”, “challenging”, or have difficulty with attention, focus, and listening, please share your tips for keeping your sanity and keeping your kids on track behaviorally.  Or, just share your drink recipes, lol…

I just read an article at Salon, “Study finds rise in student injuries in gym class”, and was saddened to find that students are suffering due to poor supervision. The study followed injury reports in 100 hospitals over an 11-year period (1997-2007) and discovered an 150% in injuries. The report also said that this is not caused by over-aggressive forms of athletics so much as it is caused by untrained supervision. The injuries reported included “heat stroke, fainting and heart palpitations”.

Now, I was never a lover of gym. I’m petite and I run slow, and I don’t breath properly, so I’m winded as soon as I start. High school gym class was a nightmare for me until they instituted yoga, and I would have gladly seen it done away with and replaced with more art and music.

However, as a mom, I see all the energy my kids have in school. I watched an interesting discussion on Bill Maher’s “Real Time”, where 2 Republican congressmen and Arianna Huffington of the Huffington Post discussed the need for physical education during school hours. As I watch my oh-so-energetic and not-so-attentive Amelia head towards the 1st grade, I agree that she will need a physical break during her first full school days. Do I now need to worry about who’s watching her?

The only real solution I can see to this, then, is to be proactive. Even as a special needs mom, I’ve taken a long time to learn how I need to equip my kids. Amelia is very prone to watch, run, skip, or plop into whatever lies in her path. I’m working hard right now to ensure that she is more aware of her surroundings, even in little ways (“Amelia, your elbow hurt my rib. Please watch where you’re going.”)

I can contact the school – I will be working closely with them anyway – and get them to list the P.E. games she’s playing so I can coach her on what not to do at home. If I ask for her exact athletic activities in school, will I be seen as a paranoid mommy by the school? What if I explain to them that I’m just trying to help, given her attention issues and her “dive first, look later” nature? (I’m betting this kid will want to sky dive!)

I’m also afraid to start a bad trend for myself. As a kid, my mom was always worried about me and very overprotective. You know what happens to overprotected kids, right? They grow into reckless teens, testing the boundaries of safety whenever they can. I don’t want to get there. Amelia needs to learn to flourish on her own, and fail on her own, but safety is always a concern of mine when it comes to her disability.

That being said, I did (somehow!) manage to teach her always keep her seatbelt on and to hold my hand and not bolt in a parking lot.