School Safety vs. Parent Involvement
My children attend a Hall of Fame, Achievement of Excellence, you name it, award-winning public school. When we moved from California to Ohio four years ago, we looked online to research schools to help us select a good community for our kids.
Four years later, I can say that for the most part it’s been a good choice. However, I have one huge issue with our current school district:
Parents are held at arms length from the daily classroom activities.
The school’s official reason for this decision is to keep students safe. Supposedly, when lots of adults are wandering through the buildings, it’s difficult to determine who belongs and who doesn’t.
Okay. That makes sense. Hard to argue with keeping our kiddies safe. So, we have buzzers at each locked entrance. Parents are only allowed in at certain times and for certain reasons. For the four annual classroom parties, only three parents per class are allowed and their names have to be submitted a week ahead. They probably run FBI checks on us or something.
My initial question upon hearing about all of the restrictions was, “Have there been problems? Were noncustodial parents attempting to pick up their children or were strangers lurking around the schools?”
Nope. These rules were made proactively to eliminate any potential problems.
It seems to me that in doing so, they’ve cut out lots of good stuff. It’s like throwing out the baby with the bath water.
The area we moved from was also an award-winning school district but with a much different philosophy. Their doors were always open to parents. At any time you might walk into a classroom and perhaps see one mother decorating a bulletin board and another working with a small group in the back of the room.
Where else can a school get such quality assistance for free? I volunteered once a week and never missed a party. And they didn’t just have four parties a year, either. They did all the biggies plus all the smaller ones. We partied on Veterans Day, Cinco de Mayo, Labor Day, Presidents Day and made up stuff like Inventor’s Day, Illustrator’s Day, and Fairy Tale Day. All were accompanied by great learning activities and lots of parent helpers.
Even though parents were welcomed, I never heard of a safety issue. The school, of course, had some precautions such as signing in at the office and receiving a badge. I believe the high level of parent involvement actually made the campus safer. Think of us mothers as Secret Service. Any one of us would have stepped in front of a bullet for any of the students, if necessary. Plus, by becoming part of the school community, I knew which kids went with which adults. I knew the teachers, secretaries, lunch ladies, and custodians. I don’t know many of the staff at my daughters’ current schools because my involvement is so limited.
A friend of mine is very involved in PTO and her theory is that there are too many pushy parents so the school has to set limits. If so, that’s thinking that has backfired.
If you only have a few opportunities in the classroom, Moms can get ferocious. We’ll start clawing.Instead, wear us out and many parents will start slinking away. “Another party? Well, um, actually I have a dentist appointment that day.” Parents don’t want a full-time teaching commitment. We just want to be involved.
One neighbor of mine was not selected as one of the three party helpers for her daughter’s recent Halloween party. So, she drove to the Kindergarten building and stood outside the fence hoping to catch a glimpse of her daughter parading in her costume. My neighbor said it was horrible. Parents were jockeying for position, trying to zoom in with their cameras to catch a shot, and frantically waving in hopes that their child would see them.
I’m all for safety but it just feels as if we’ve gone overboard. Fear can be paralyzing…if you let it. I wish I had thought to research levels of parent involvement during our school selection process.
-Kay
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Kay, I think this is an absurd image of mothers standing outside the school, trying to get a glimpse of their child. It sounds like a prison. What school district is this? Have you considered going before the school board? Thank you for a well-written post.
I haven’t gone before the school board because I’m a chicken and keep hoping someone else steps forward. I did make a minor fuss last year because I was not picked for any of my daughter’s 3rd grade parties. Too many mothers volunteered so they picked names lottery style. It just infuriated me that I wasn’t going to be able to go into her classroom even once for the entire year. I talked to the building principal who just went on and on about safety. Blah, blah, blah. I talked to our Superintendent who made a call and long story short another Mom offered to be taken off a party. I felt like a big crybaby but come on! But the interesting thing is is that the superintendent also encouraged me to speak to the school board. Maybe.
Let me know if you need any help with this. I wasn’t always an activist, and I certainly still do pick my battles. But there is a way to do this. And this is absurd. I have never heard of such a thing, even in inner city schools. I’m sure you did feel like a crybaby when the only recourse was to kick another mother off. I think it is indeed interesting that the superintendent encouraged you to speak to the school board, suggesting that he thinks this is stupid. Even if you just started this process by calling the one or two neighboring school districts to see what their policy is, that would be a start…..Let me know how it goes. I feel your frustation.
I will definitely contact you if and when I get my nerve up as I have no idea how to approach this. Love the idea of contacting neighboring schools. Thanks Debra-Lynn!